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It’s that time of year again. Despite nature’s call to slow down and hibernate, we tend to speed up and do more. Holiday commitments, family travels, the end of school terms and corporate years, shopping, family expectations and dynamics – it all adds up to a lot of extra stress!
Not that we’re unfamiliar with stress the rest of the year, right? It’s a regular component in our lives, holiday season or not. As a yoga teacher working with over 100 people a week, and as a small business owner, I’m in a unique position to see how we deal with stress, what strategies work and where the pitfalls are.
One of the things both Lynea and I have grown to appreciate is how vital it is that adults learn how to take care of stress so we can model appropriately for the young people in our lives. No list of fancy yoga poses, props or techniques really matter if the teacher isn’t grounded or connected to him- or herself.
For a complete understanding of stress and its effects, I highly recommend Robert Sapolsky’s book Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers. It’s accessible, even entertaining and, of course, extremely useful. Keys to reducing stress, writes Sapolsky, include
- Positive thinking.
- Social affiliation.
- Outlets through which to channel frustrations.
- Rest, quality sleep & nutritious food.
But one thing matters more than all these: creating a sense of control.
Change the way even a rat perceives its world and you dramatically alter the likelihood of its getting a disease. These ideas are no mere truisms. They are powerful, potentially liberating forces to be harnessed. As a physiologist who has studied stress for many years, I clearly see that the physiology of the system is often no more decisive than the psychology.
All five of these factors figure into some tips Lynea and I want to share with you to help you keep stress in check through this holiday season and beyond:
Just Say No!
It’s all too easy to over-commit ourselves, especially during the holidays! So why not make it easier on yourself – and others? Consider scheduling your work party earlier in December – or better yet, in January, when people can really appreciate the break. Ask friends to do the same, spreading out celebrations over a few months. School calendars make family commitments a bit tougher, but we know several families that gather at other times of the year, such as birthdays, graduations and special anniversaries. When all else fails, it really is okay to just say “no” for now and schedule something for later.
One Thing at a Time – Please!
Multitasking creates the illusion of productivity while compounding stress. Yet the demands of our 24/7 culture of e-connectivity easily generate the sense that we must always be “on” or available and make multitasking seem inevitable. One simple way to regain focus is to take control of your media gadgets. Why not devote time first thing each day – before checking voice mail and Facebook and email and texts – to work on important things? Set boundaries. Consider unplugging completely at least one day a week. Block off time for more “immersive” experiences in which you do one activity mindfully and with intent. This can really improve productivity and refresh the brain!
Sleep Better
The more plugged-in we are, the less quality sleep we get. Sleep researchers and groups like the National Sleep Foundation recommend turning off electronic media several hours before bedtime. We know of families where everyone has to turn off and leave their phones on the counter by a certain time each night, which reduces at least one distraction for teens doing their homework on a computer. And with the media you do use, be choosy! Don’t just consume what’s there because it’s there. Watch, read, listen to or interact with media that matters to you and, ideally, leaves you with positive feelings afterwards.
An Hour of Sleep Before Midnight…
You know the old maxim that gaining an hour of sleep before midnight is equal to gaining two hours after? It’s probably true. That extra 30 minutes or hour of late-night TV-watching we “treat ourselves” is the opportunity-cost of time the next morning when we exercise, read for enjoyment, work on a creative project or enjoy a good breakfast. So turn off the tube and turn on your life.
Set Expectations, Give Choices
With family budgets tight and media-fueled expectations high, responding to your kids’ wish lists can be tough. Why not try giving them a choice between gifts on their list? Or take the opportunity to teach budgeting: Tell them something like “Santa is on a budget this year,” and ask them to make a list of the things they can get with X dollars. This gives them a sense of control, maintains your role as parent and helps you avoid breaking the bank. Forming holiday budget agreements with ex-spouses can also help avert the “bidding wars” that can accompany divorce.
Establish Your Health Momentum – Now
The combination of inclement weather, seasonal demands and sugary holiday treats can wreak havoc on health. So this year, my New Year’s resolution was to get more exercise in the fall. Even just a 15 minute walk outside or indoor spin on my stationary bike has done wonders for my attitude, with the added blessing of good time to think about and process all else that’s going on. (And the best benefit? I can now eat those holiday sweets with impunity!) When the average American adult spends about two hours daily in front of the TV, is there really such excuse as “I don’t have time”?
What are some of the ways you manage the extra stress holidays can bring? Share your ideas in the comments!
Image by alancleaver_2000, via Flickr
Since the onset of the current economic crisis, much has been discussed and written about how its effects are not just financial but psychological, as well. And as a recent New York Times article reminds us, they affect children just as much as adults.
Children, especially, have become hidden casualties, often absorbing more than their parents are fully aware of. Several academic studies have linked parental job loss — especially that of fathers — to adverse impacts in areas like school performance and self-esteem.
* * *
A recent study at the University of California, Davis, found that children in families where the head of the household had lost a job were 15 percent more likely to repeat a grade. Ariel Kalil, a University of Chicago professor of public policy, and Kathleen M. Ziol-Guest, of the Institute for Children and Poverty in New York, found in an earlier study that adolescent children of low-income single mothers who endured unemployment had an increased chance of dropping out of school and showed declines in emotional well-being.
We are not born knowing how to deal with stress, especially the psychological kind. Rather, this is a skill we learn, most commonly by observing others. Thus, it is not surprising that children pick up on stress cues demonstrated by parents.
lanuiop/Flickr
As we discuss in Yoga Calm for Children, some stress, of course, can be positive – a kind of motivating factor. But if the stress goes on too long, the stage is set for physical illness. As Robert Sapolsky shows in his book Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers, although stressors – even massive or chronic ones – don’t automatically lead to illness, they do increase the risk of disease. Health risks include compromised immune system function, inhibited growth and even death of brain cells in the hippocampus; osteoporosis; cardiovascular disease; neck, shoulder, and back pain; rheumatoid arthritis; asthma; depression; and diabetes.
In children, emotional and physical development may be impaired. And unhealthy ways of reacting to and interacting with the world may become entrenched. Some examples of such maladaptive behaviors and other coping devices are described in the Times article:
Paul Bachmuth’s 9-year-old daughter, Rebecca, began pulling out strands of her hair over the summer. His older child, Hannah, 12, has become noticeably angrier, more prone to throwing tantrums.
* * *
When Rebecca began pulling her hair out in late summer in what was diagnosed as a stress-induced disorder, she insisted it was because she was bored. But her parents and her therapist — the same one seeing her parents — believed it was clearly related to the job situation.
The hair pulling has since stopped, but she continues to fidget with her brown locks.
The other day, she suddenly asked her mother whether she thought she would be able to find a “good job” when she grew up.
Hannah said her father’s unemployment had made it harder for her to focus on schoolwork. She also conceded she had been more easily annoyed with her parents and her sister.
At night, she said, she has taken to stowing her worries away in an imaginary box.
“I take all the stress and bad things that happen over the day, and I lock them in a box,” she said.
Then, she tries to sleep.
How stress affects an individual depends upon the person’s genetic makeup, experience with stress, and how he or she has learned to cope with it. Children under acute or chronic stress may exhibit any of a wide variety of symptoms, many of which are readily observable by parents, teachers, counselors, physicians, and others who regularly interact with children. Obviously, any symptoms of chronic stress should prompt inquiry and possible action to alleviate their causes. If left unattended, they can become impediments to learning, create additional challenges in classroom management and set the stage for long-term health problems.
However, no matter what the source, all children will benefit from learning how to handle their stress in positive, proactive ways – to become stress-hardy, as illustrated in the graphic below.
From its roots in a therapeutic context, Yoga Calm’s tools were developed to directly and comprehensively address the threats to children’s health by teaching lifelong stress management and social/emotional skills. The approach is effective with a wide range of children, and adults too – further expanding yoga’s definition of “union” – and is now playing a catalytic role in the continuing evolution of school-based yoga interventions.
Learn more at yogacalm.org.
For further reading:
- “Stress-Proofing Kids Through Yoga” (PDF), Natural Awakening, August 2008
- “Secrets of Healthy Kids” and related yoga activities, Natural Solutions, September 2009
sean dreilinger/Flickr
In our book Yoga Calm for Children: Educating Heart, Mind, and Body we write:
When we rest, the body heals and the mind and body integrate experiences. Rest allows us to reflect on the day and notice the effects of our activities on our emotions, mind, and body. In rest, free of distractions and stimulation, we are able to dream, to imagine, to work on solutions to our daily lives.
Sleep deprivation, on the other hand, can negatively affect mental performance, muscle control, and mood. Furthermore, strong, mounting evidence indicates that lost or damaged sleep is associated with serious long-term health problems including heart disease, diabetes, viral infection, cancer, depression, and substance abuse.
Adequate sleep and rest are important not only for growing bodies but also for mental development and emotional health. Scientists believe that sleep helps to weave disparate, emotionally fragmented, or weakly coupled memories together into coherent structures that the brain can then use more effectively during wakefulness. The more complex the physical or mental experience, the more important sleep is for efficiently integrating and remembering the experience.
Sleep deprivation is a significant yet often hidden health issue. In Healing Night,
Rubin R. Naiman notes that, in recent years, the amount of sleep adolescents get has been reduced by two or more hours a night. (According to the National Sleep Foundation, school age children need 10 to 11 hours nightly for good health, with teens needing 9 1/4 hours.) This affects children’s health on many levels. For example, a lack of sleep often results in increased consumption of high calorie foods and caffeinated products, which can trigger behavior problems and mental health conditions like ADHD.
Good sleep is important for adults, too – and for the same physiological and psychological reasons. But when it comes to the hows, many of us are stumped.
So here are 10 tips for getting better sleep:
- Relax before retiring. Take some time for a pre-sleep ritual to break the connection between stress and bedtime. Listen to some calming music. Meditate. Read a bit. Do some light stretching. Try some lavender aromatherapy or a hot bath. But remember, TV watching and bright lights can interfere with our bodies’ natural release of melatonin – the hormone that helps us to fall asleep.
- Make the routine routine. Go to bed around the same time every night. Your body will learn that time is bedtime and relax accordingly, especially if a regular bedtime is in conjunction with some relaxation ritual as described above.
- Remember the purpose of the bed. Avoid TV, reading, eating and emotional discussions while in bed. The mind and body associate bedtime activities with being in bed. So don’t let a bad habit keep you awake.
- Eat right and sleep tight. Avoid eating a large meal just bed bedtime or going to bed hungry. It’s about balance. Also, when possible, opt for foods that promote sleep, such as milk, tuna, pumpkin, artichokes, avocados, almonds, eggs, peaches, walnut, apricots, oats, asparagus, potatoes and bananas.
- Watch the caffeine. Coffee, most sodas and many teas contain caffeine and may keep you up. If you’ve already had too much, consider eating some carbohydrates like bread or crackers to counter the effects. Adults should also watch alcohol intake, for although it may help you fall asleep, it can also cause sleep-disturbing nightmares, sweats and headaches as your body clears the alcohol from your system.
- No drinks after 8 p.m. To enjoy sleep uninterrupted by bathroom breaks, shut down your fluid intake early.
- Exercise at the right time. Regular exercise relieves stress and encourages good sleep. However, if a little exercise really gets your blood pumping, you’d be wise to avoid working out in the evening or just before bedtime.
- Cut down on noise, light and extreme temperatures. Try earplugs, a night light, an eye mask or drape clip. The best temperature for sleep is 68° to 72°F.
- Understand jet lag. A few days before you cross time zones, try waking up later or earlier as needed, to help your body adjust to the time difference. It takes a few days for your body to fully adjust.
- Nap smart. A 20 minute power nap early in the day can really refresh you. But sleep too much, and you may spend the night staring at the ceiling.
