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It’s that time of year again. Despite nature’s call to slow down and hibernate, we tend to speed up and do more. Holiday commitments, family travels, the end of school terms and corporate years, shopping, family expectations and dynamics – it all adds up to a lot of extra stress!
Not that we’re unfamiliar with stress the rest of the year, right? It’s a regular component in our lives, holiday season or not. As a yoga teacher working with over 100 people a week, and as a small business owner, I’m in a unique position to see how we deal with stress, what strategies work and where the pitfalls are.
One of the things both Lynea and I have grown to appreciate is how vital it is that adults learn how to take care of stress so we can model appropriately for the young people in our lives. No list of fancy yoga poses, props or techniques really matter if the teacher isn’t grounded or connected to him- or herself.
For a complete understanding of stress and its effects, I highly recommend Robert Sapolsky’s book Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers. It’s accessible, even entertaining and, of course, extremely useful. Keys to reducing stress, writes Sapolsky, include
- Positive thinking.
- Social affiliation.
- Outlets through which to channel frustrations.
- Rest, quality sleep & nutritious food.
But one thing matters more than all these: creating a sense of control.
Change the way even a rat perceives its world and you dramatically alter the likelihood of its getting a disease. These ideas are no mere truisms. They are powerful, potentially liberating forces to be harnessed. As a physiologist who has studied stress for many years, I clearly see that the physiology of the system is often no more decisive than the psychology.
All five of these factors figure into some tips Lynea and I want to share with you to help you keep stress in check through this holiday season and beyond:
Just Say No!
It’s all too easy to over-commit ourselves, especially during the holidays! So why not make it easier on yourself – and others? Consider scheduling your work party earlier in December – or better yet, in January, when people can really appreciate the break. Ask friends to do the same, spreading out celebrations over a few months. School calendars make family commitments a bit tougher, but we know several families that gather at other times of the year, such as birthdays, graduations and special anniversaries. When all else fails, it really is okay to just say “no” for now and schedule something for later.
One Thing at a Time – Please!
Multitasking creates the illusion of productivity while compounding stress. Yet the demands of our 24/7 culture of e-connectivity easily generate the sense that we must always be “on” or available and make multitasking seem inevitable. One simple way to regain focus is to take control of your media gadgets. Why not devote time first thing each day – before checking voice mail and Facebook and email and texts – to work on important things? Set boundaries. Consider unplugging completely at least one day a week. Block off time for more “immersive” experiences in which you do one activity mindfully and with intent. This can really improve productivity and refresh the brain!
Sleep Better
The more plugged-in we are, the less quality sleep we get. Sleep researchers and groups like the National Sleep Foundation recommend turning off electronic media several hours before bedtime. We know of families where everyone has to turn off and leave their phones on the counter by a certain time each night, which reduces at least one distraction for teens doing their homework on a computer. And with the media you do use, be choosy! Don’t just consume what’s there because it’s there. Watch, read, listen to or interact with media that matters to you and, ideally, leaves you with positive feelings afterwards.
An Hour of Sleep Before Midnight…
You know the old maxim that gaining an hour of sleep before midnight is equal to gaining two hours after? It’s probably true. That extra 30 minutes or hour of late-night TV-watching we “treat ourselves” is the opportunity-cost of time the next morning when we exercise, read for enjoyment, work on a creative project or enjoy a good breakfast. So turn off the tube and turn on your life.
Set Expectations, Give Choices
With family budgets tight and media-fueled expectations high, responding to your kids’ wish lists can be tough. Why not try giving them a choice between gifts on their list? Or take the opportunity to teach budgeting: Tell them something like “Santa is on a budget this year,” and ask them to make a list of the things they can get with X dollars. This gives them a sense of control, maintains your role as parent and helps you avoid breaking the bank. Forming holiday budget agreements with ex-spouses can also help avert the “bidding wars” that can accompany divorce.
Establish Your Health Momentum – Now
The combination of inclement weather, seasonal demands and sugary holiday treats can wreak havoc on health. So this year, my New Year’s resolution was to get more exercise in the fall. Even just a 15 minute walk outside or indoor spin on my stationary bike has done wonders for my attitude, with the added blessing of good time to think about and process all else that’s going on. (And the best benefit? I can now eat those holiday sweets with impunity!) When the average American adult spends about two hours daily in front of the TV, is there really such excuse as “I don’t have time”?
What are some of the ways you manage the extra stress holidays can bring? Share your ideas in the comments!
Image by alancleaver_2000, via Flickr
This week, we’re pleased to feature a guest post by Donna Freeman, yoga instructor, author and founder of Yogainmyschool.com.
With the new school year already underway for some and on the verge of beginning for others, Donna offers some terrific tips for making a positive return to school, which older kids can follow on their own and parents can teach to younger children.
The first day of school is an eventful day. Many children are excited, but there may also be some anxiety and nervousness. Here are some hints on how to avoid chaos and head back to school filled with confidence and enthusiasm. These 7 tips will help you start the school year positively and energetically. By setting yourself up for success emotionally, physically and intellectually, each day will offer new adventures and opportunities for learning and growth.
- Rehearse
Before the first day of school arrives, take the time to do four things. First, locate the bus stop and know what time your bus will pick you up and drop you off. Alternatively, trace your path if you walk or drive to school. Second, do a run-through of your morning routine. Know what time you have to get up and the tasks that need to be done to get out of the door on time. Third, visit the school in order to find your classroom and say hello to your teacher. Fourth, visualize your success. See yourself succeeding at school, developing good work habits, making new friends. - Be Prepared
Pack all your supplies into your backpack. Set out your clothes (maybe a favorite shirt, new shoes or special piece of jewellery) the night before. Have contact numbers for parents and a trusted family friend accessible. Tuck in some money for the cafeteria. Get enough sleep. - Create a Homework Plan
Designate a specific place at home where you will do homework. Make sure you have all the necessary supplies (pens, paper, ruler, glue, markers, etc.) at hand. Set personal homework rules and times such as “Homework is done before watching TV.” Make a homework plan and set goals for the coming year. - Share
Talk to someone about your fears. Your parents, teachers, siblings and friends are there to support you. Ask for help, even with the little things. That way they don’t become major obstacles preventing your growth and development. - Plan Meals
Good nutrition is important. Be sure to stock up on healthy options for breakfasts, lunches and snacks. Include fresh fruits and vegetables, fiber-rich grains, lean proteins, and a re-usable water bottle. - Try Your Best
Put your best foot forward and smile. Inhale and exhale slowly if you feel anxious. Say hello to the new kids. Be calm and positive knowing that within you are all the talents and resources needed to meet any challenge. Remember your sense of humor and that school is fun. - Reward Yourself
Plan a small incentive for the end of the first day. Maybe it is a play-date with your best friend or a special activity with the family. Change can be daunting and you’ve achieved another milestone, so reward yourself for a job well done and celebrate life’s special moments with those close to you.
Donna Freeman, founder of Yogainmyschool.com and author of Once Upon a Pose, believes in living life with an open heart and a upbeat attitude. She encourages all individuals to embrace lasting positive change and connect with who they are and their infinite potential.
Photo courtesy of Avalore
leah pritchard/Flickr
Physical exercise has more than just physical benefits. For instance, as we wrote a while back, when kids exercise more, they also tend to achieve more academically. In Spark, John Ratey provides ample support for this as well as the many other benefits of exercise for children and adults. For example, exercise also has a positive effect on mood, emotions and psychological well-being – so much so that exercise is now prescribed for conditions such as depression. (And some say it should be prescribed even more.)
For a long time, when people talked about the psychological effects of exercise, they usually focused on endorphins – opiate-like compounds released by the pituitary gland and hypothalamus during exercise or when we’re excited or in pain. More recently, research has looked at the possibility that changes in dopamine or serotonin levels during exercise might be involved.
The truth of the matter is that we don’t yet completely know why exercise makes us feel good mentally as well as physically, but some intriguing research out of Princeton may bring us one step closer to understanding this important phenomenon.
According to a report on the study published late last year in the New York Times, there appears to be a difference in neuron response between active and sedentary rats.
Scientists have known for some time that exercise stimulates the creation of new brain cells (neurons) but not how, precisely, these neurons might be functionally different from other brain cells.
In the experiment, preliminary results of which were presented [in October 2009] at the annual meeting of the Society for Neuroscience in Chicago, scientists allowed one group of rats to run. Another set of rodents was not allowed to exercise. Then all of the rats swam in cold water, which they don’t like to do. Afterward, the scientists examined the animals’ brains. They found that the stress of the swimming activated neurons in all of the brains. (The researchers could tell which neurons were activated because the cells expressed specific genes in response to the stress.) But the youngest brain cells in the running rats, the cells that the scientists assumed were created by running, were less likely to express the genes. They generally remained quiet. The “cells born from running,” the researchers concluded, appeared to have been “specifically buffered from exposure to a stressful experience.” The rats had created, through running, a brain that seemed biochemically, molecularly, calm.
In short, exercise was shown to reduce anxiety.
Notably, the changes don’t happen overnight but, as other research cited in the article has shown, emerge over a period of weeks. Nor is it entirely clear yet how these findings translate to human activity – although one of the reasons rats are so commonly used in studies such as this is that their metabolisms and other bodily functions are so similar to those of humans.
However, we do see – both in research on physical education and in our own work with students – much lower anxiety levels after some weeks of regular physical movement relative to anxiety at the beginning of the course. In fact, a good number of kids whose parents enroll them in Yoga Calm courses are there precisely because of anxiety and related mood disorders, the parents looking for ways of helping their children cope.
Similar results are reported by teachers, nurses, counselors and other school workers who have brought Yoga Calm to the classroom. The blend of breath work, physical activity and social-emotional games not only helps ease anxiety but also gives children tools for coping with anxiety and big emotions when they do arise – and they will, invariably. They are a part of life, after all. But by giving children – and ourselves – the means to handle them when they arise, we allow them – and ourselves – a way to thrive in spite of such difficult feelings.
Since the onset of the current economic crisis, much has been discussed and written about how its effects are not just financial but psychological, as well. And as a recent New York Times article reminds us, they affect children just as much as adults.
Children, especially, have become hidden casualties, often absorbing more than their parents are fully aware of. Several academic studies have linked parental job loss — especially that of fathers — to adverse impacts in areas like school performance and self-esteem.
* * *
A recent study at the University of California, Davis, found that children in families where the head of the household had lost a job were 15 percent more likely to repeat a grade. Ariel Kalil, a University of Chicago professor of public policy, and Kathleen M. Ziol-Guest, of the Institute for Children and Poverty in New York, found in an earlier study that adolescent children of low-income single mothers who endured unemployment had an increased chance of dropping out of school and showed declines in emotional well-being.
We are not born knowing how to deal with stress, especially the psychological kind. Rather, this is a skill we learn, most commonly by observing others. Thus, it is not surprising that children pick up on stress cues demonstrated by parents.
lanuiop/Flickr
As we discuss in Yoga Calm for Children, some stress, of course, can be positive – a kind of motivating factor. But if the stress goes on too long, the stage is set for physical illness. As Robert Sapolsky shows in his book Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers, although stressors – even massive or chronic ones – don’t automatically lead to illness, they do increase the risk of disease. Health risks include compromised immune system function, inhibited growth and even death of brain cells in the hippocampus; osteoporosis; cardiovascular disease; neck, shoulder, and back pain; rheumatoid arthritis; asthma; depression; and diabetes.
In children, emotional and physical development may be impaired. And unhealthy ways of reacting to and interacting with the world may become entrenched. Some examples of such maladaptive behaviors and other coping devices are described in the Times article:
Paul Bachmuth’s 9-year-old daughter, Rebecca, began pulling out strands of her hair over the summer. His older child, Hannah, 12, has become noticeably angrier, more prone to throwing tantrums.
* * *
When Rebecca began pulling her hair out in late summer in what was diagnosed as a stress-induced disorder, she insisted it was because she was bored. But her parents and her therapist — the same one seeing her parents — believed it was clearly related to the job situation.
The hair pulling has since stopped, but she continues to fidget with her brown locks.
The other day, she suddenly asked her mother whether she thought she would be able to find a “good job” when she grew up.
Hannah said her father’s unemployment had made it harder for her to focus on schoolwork. She also conceded she had been more easily annoyed with her parents and her sister.
At night, she said, she has taken to stowing her worries away in an imaginary box.
“I take all the stress and bad things that happen over the day, and I lock them in a box,” she said.
Then, she tries to sleep.
How stress affects an individual depends upon the person’s genetic makeup, experience with stress, and how he or she has learned to cope with it. Children under acute or chronic stress may exhibit any of a wide variety of symptoms, many of which are readily observable by parents, teachers, counselors, physicians, and others who regularly interact with children. Obviously, any symptoms of chronic stress should prompt inquiry and possible action to alleviate their causes. If left unattended, they can become impediments to learning, create additional challenges in classroom management and set the stage for long-term health problems.
However, no matter what the source, all children will benefit from learning how to handle their stress in positive, proactive ways – to become stress-hardy, as illustrated in the graphic below.
From its roots in a therapeutic context, Yoga Calm’s tools were developed to directly and comprehensively address the threats to children’s health by teaching lifelong stress management and social/emotional skills. The approach is effective with a wide range of children, and adults too – further expanding yoga’s definition of “union” – and is now playing a catalytic role in the continuing evolution of school-based yoga interventions.
Learn more at yogacalm.org.
For further reading:
- “Stress-Proofing Kids Through Yoga” (PDF), Natural Awakening, August 2008
- “Secrets of Healthy Kids” and related yoga activities, Natural Solutions, September 2009
We’ve been talking a bit about stress lately and the need for quality sleep and other habits to counter it and make ourselves more stress-resilient. Yet another means of letting go of the tension is the kind of deep relaxation that ends every yoga practice. As B.K.S. Iyengar, a well-respected yoga teacher who has played a large part in bringing yoga to the West, states, “The stresses of modern civilization are a strain on the nerves for which [deep relaxation] is the best antidote.”
Indeed, the relaxation poses that end each session of practice are often considered the most important part of yoga in that they allow the mind, body, and emotions to heal, grow, and integrate.
Here’s a sample 12 minute relaxation from Jim’s Yoga Renewal CD. As he mentions, it is to be done in “Savasana,” which is the Sanskrit name for the traditional relaxation that is done at the end of a yoga class. Lie on your back with your arms at your sides but slightly away from your body and with palms up, and let your feet fall they will to either side. Breathe deeply and slowly from your belly as you go through this guided relaxation, which can be done by itself or at the end of a full yoga session.
Yoga Renewal, designed for the beginning yoga student, is 50-minute guided practice that will take you through 15 gentle poses that will stretch and revitalize your entire body – taking the knots out of those tight shoulders, strengthening your back and abdomen, loosening up legs and hips, and relaxing your mind. It – and its musical soundtrack from the CD Anjali – are available for purchase at the Yoga Calm Store.
Children are so perceptive, so often aware of things that we “grownups” may not be tuned into. They know when something is wrong. They may not be able to say what it is or why it is, but they pick up on our attitudes, feelings and values. It’s one of the ways they learn from us.
Unfortunately, this is the time of year when what many of us are is stressed out.
Those of us who are teachers, school counselors, administrators or staff are learning new names and faces, and getting to know dozens of new students and parents. We’re cranking out class plans, jockeying for scarce resources, working to meet federal and state education mandates. Parents and families are adjusting to new schedules and competing demands of children’s school and afterschool activities.
While some of that stress is negative, some aspects, of course, are positive. This is an exciting time of year, ripe with new possibilities. But when it comes all at once with no let-up, it can place a heavy burden on our shoulders. And the children around us are likely aware of this – which, in turn, can add to their stress.
Obviously, it becomes even more important that we do what we can to deal with our own.
As we mentioned last time, yoga itself can be a big help.
One of the benefits of sustained, regular yoga practice, however, is that it trains both the mind and body to stay calm. It instills and reinforces the mindfulness that can become a powerful force against the pressures of daily life. It rejuvenates and restores, making us better able to face the tasks and challenges each day brings. It provides an antidote against stress.
Like any kind of exercise, yoga can be an outlet: a means of release of tension, nervous energy and negative thoughts. Even the simplest yogic acts of breath regulation can bring a sense of calm and stability in an otherwise chaotic world.
evanbdudley/Flickr
Three other skills in particular can help you manage stress effectively – skills that stem from the practice of yoga or are part of the Yoga Calm curriculum:
Sense of Control
Negative stress often comes with the feeling of life being out of control, of helplessness. But we must stop and ask: Is this really the case? Often, the problem is not with life but our perceptions of it. If we can develop a sense of control, we feel calmer and stronger, more able to handle challenges and hurdle obstacles. As the practice of yoga depends on the regulation of breath and body, it can nurture feelings of self-control – feelings summed up by one of our favorite sayings in Yoga Calm: I am strong. I am in control. I can do it. I can be responsible.
Self-control also involves being able to step back and evaluate a situation on its own terms: to see what is happening, how it is affecting you and what you can do to change the situation or deal with the problem. This is, of course, also part of the art of mindfulness that comes through the practice of yoga.
Social Connections
It’s easy to feel helpless when we feel alone. For this reason, social affiliation is another crucial component to dealing with stress. We need to know that we are not alone, that we are part of many communities – families, friends, work, social or civic groups and so on – and that we are important parts of those communities. In fact, it’s not only crucial to our mental wellbeing but to our physical health, as recent research has shown that
“the quality of a person’s social life could have an even greater impact than diet and exercise on their health and well-being. There is growing evidence that being a member of a social group can significantly reduce the risk of conditions like stroke, dementia and even the common cold.
Consequently, it’s important for us to make time for the relationships in our lives, or to establish social connections where we find them lacking.
Positive Attitude
Above all, it’s important to keep a positive outlook, which can organically arise from the practice of yoga, developing a sense of self-control and nurturing our social connections. These activities can create a positive feedback loop, boosting our spirits and our sense of possibility. And when we’ve got a good attitude, we’re much more resilient in the face of stress and other challenges. We can endure a lot if we’re happy. And our happiness can bolster that of those around us, creating another positive feedback loop and reinforcing our other strengths.
These are all qualities that can be nurtured through the practice of Yoga Calm, and shared with children so they, too, can become more stress-hardy. For more ideas on how to give this gift to children, please see our article “Stress-Proofing Kids through Yoga” (PDF).
For a recent Yoga Calm workshop, school counselor Bonnie Cannon wrote an insightful commentary on her developing awareness of yoga as self-study and how this may benefit the children she works with. We asked if we could share her good words on our blog. We were happy to hear, “Yes.” Thanks, Bonnie!
The primary understanding that I took away from this weekend workshop, which I had not recognized before, was that yoga is self-study.
I had been teaching students poses, facilitating games and guiding discussions designed to elicit understandings and connections on a theoretical level, and the students had been responding positively. But I realized during this workshop that the teaching could be more powerful and more effective by helping students to connect, explore and understand their physical experiences as well.
With that in mind, I will now be asking more experiential questions: “How did that feel?” rather than, “What can we learn from that?” Most students are encouraged to spend an inordinate amount of time in their heads during the school day, and very little attention is paid to what is happening in their bodies. In fact, often they are expected to ignore or suppress what is happening in their bodies.
But our bodies, our feelings, and our thoughts are intricately connected, and students will be most successful if we can provide a balanced educational experience that encourages them to understand what is happening in their bodies, how that affects what they are feeling, how that in turn affects what they are thinking, and how all of that affects their ability to learn and retain information presented in the classroom.
Students are not taught in a vacuum. A student who is experiencing high levels of chronic stress will not be able to attend to, retain and recall information as well as a student who is able to recognize stress in the body and release it.
The self-study focus of yoga and Yoga Calm helps students to better understand and recognize what is happening in their bodies so that they will be able to make decisions and take actions that benefit their bodies and maximize their ability to learn and reach their full potential. This can happen in targeted, direct ways such as learning to recognize when the body is hungry and the effects different foods have on it, and learning to fuel the body for optimum performance. It can also happen in less tangible ways such as experiencing the good feelings that come with giving and receiving a compliment or support during a task, and then continuing to compliment or support others, thereby increasing ones own confidence, self-esteem and serotonin levels, as well as creating a more positive, cooperative learning environment, all of which will ultimately lead to increases in academic performance.”
Read more on this topic here.
